tsf.tech fantasy league update: gameweek six


On this soggy Friday, I’m pleased to present the results from last weekend’s frolics and the current standings in our fantasy football league.

How was it for you? The week saw Cornel top score with 68 points, three clean sheets plus the Batman & Robin City strikers, and Saudi-bound Salah filling his basket, followed by Dan (57) and Lee (54). Lee leads the haranguing for September’s MoTM award on 149 points, with Nikita (136), Pete & Jelica (both 135) chasing. By some continuing fluke which may merit an investigation into points gathering malpractice, Nikita sits top of the league on 324 points, with Michael (322) and Paul P (307) chasing her shadow.

A dart throwing blindfolded monkey on a galloping horse would do better than me. My formation seems to be not so much 4-3-3- as 7-2-1, Harland left to roam like a clubber in search of a taxi at 3am but not converting chances as he has done. Sounds like me in a nightclub when I was 17.

VAR soapbox I despise VAR even more now after some clownesque decision making at Burnley’s game versus Forest last Monday. I always think it’s worthwhile giving a genuine opinion of the decision no matter how biased I am.

Most Forest fans on social  media think they were extremely lucky, I’ve seen it a many times and whist on some angles you can see that the ball hit Berge’s top upper arm, I don’t believe its deliberate and the point of contact is high (it’s almost on his shoulder). The goal by Foster from his cross simply should have stood, and bingo, we win 2-1.

The problem with VAR is that its analysing decisions in every detail, if they want to find something wrong, they will. It was meant to be introduced for overturning ‘clear and obvious’ errors. It’s taking away too much enjoyment from the game, Burnley fans rightly celebrating a winning goal and then all that enjoyment has been taken away.

A couple of friends went to Forest v Burnley and had a rather troublesome evening beyond VAR. They bought cheap-day return train tickets, changing at Stafford. The last ‘easy’ train home was leaving Nottingham before the game finished, but minor problems of that nature are inconsequential when you are young and carefree, and Vinnie is your manager.

Not bothering with the protocol of train timetables, they caught a train to Hull after the match with the hope that there would be a connection to Manchester at Leeds, Sheffield, or Doncaster. There was, with enough time for a refreshing late ale in a nearby hostelry next to Nottingham station, before boarding the Hull train and being somewhat tired and emotional because of VAR, they  fell asleep in the carriage.

They were woken sometime later as it was pulling out of Sheffield, with a voice over the Tannoy announcing the front cars were going to Manchester and the rear cars to Hull. I think you can guess which cars we were in. They duly arrived in Manchester at about 4am, having got a train back from Hull which was ostensibly the ‘post and milk train’. It stopped at every station as it made its way cross the East Riding of Yorkshire and the Pennines, seemingly dropping off the post and milk along the way. They eventually arrived home in Burnley at 10am. And we were robbed by VAR.

Five things worth checking out:

The sound of the Old Trafford crisis klaxon Well they’re heading for the hattrick – Brighton (1-3), Bayern (3-4), Burnley (0-2). So many sardines were thrown overboard by United at Old Trafford on Saturday in the defeat to Brighton that Eric Cantona’s famous quote – When the seagulls follow the trawler, it’s because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea – was flipped on its head with the Seagulls pulling and yanking the sick, poorly maintained old trawler ashore for all to see its true dilapidated state.

Pep joined in too: I find it completely wrong that Pep Guardiola should snigger and laugh when asked about United’s title chances. Rolling around on the floor while clutching his sides, tears running down his cheeks would be a far more appropriate response.

Big Cup games in the week and Red Star Belgrade almost did Aleksa proud to justify his half & half scarf (see photo). City fans chanting ‘you’ll never win the European Cup’ at the Serbians was embarrassing – Red Star won the Big Cup in 1991. In time, though, we may look back at the last ten years as a golden age of competitiveness as from next season UEFA will launch Bigger Cup, with six more teams, 50% more games and enough overkill to batter the love of football out of every single living thing except maybe Micah Richards.

Most of the groups look predictable, but there is one spectacular exception: Group F, or if you’re a Newcastle fan, Group FFS. It contains Newcastle, Milan, PSG, and Dortmund, and is a reminder that one thing money can’t buy is an instantly good coefficient to keep the teams you want to qualify apart in the qualifying rounds. Not yet anyway, that will come.

Newcastle started their first Big Cup campaign in 21 years with a 0-0 away to Milan, a genuinely exciting game that frankly deserved better than the 545pm kick-off. Nick Pope had a blinder, There’s not many keepers who could have made all those saves cooed Eddie Howe, eyelashes fluttering at the big stopper.

This weekend Big game for United as they travel to Burnley, last time we played them I had a United fan sat in front of me in the home end, he kept quiet for all the game, just a small jump out of his seat when they took the lead (result was 1-1) but etched in my memory was him eat four sausage rolls whilst on his phone filming the game texting frantically throughout the game rather than watching the game. If he’s there again on Saturday, he’ll enjoy our new public address system which has two volume settings: mildly boisterous party in upstairs student flat or Oppenheimer led nuclear test noise simulator.

Good luck!

Ron Manager

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